"Our Deepest Fear"

In response to "Our Deepest Fear" from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Our deepest fear…our deepest fear. When our deepest fears are realized, when we overcome other's attempts to "shrink" us—to make us feel less than we are—we have truly accomplished something great. Where does the courage lie to stand up and say, "I am brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? From what source does the courage flow? To be liberated, to be free of this fear is truly divine—but at what cost is self-actualization achieved? At the cost of a belief? Perhaps at the loss of something "more precious than gold." Sometimes I wonder: does the release of our fear outweigh the cost?
Isn't fear a natural force meant to protect and serve us? And, I am perplexed at the possibility that when we lose the fear that we are not powerful—when it suddenly goes out like a pulsating neon bar light, leaving us suddenly in the dark—does that invite the insecurity to creep in, which hisses in our ear, "you may be shining. You may be liberated. You may be fabulous…but you will never reach that potential—you will fall short." I may, in my greatest moments scream back at the voice "I am. I am. I am. I will!" Yet, the voice screams louder, too, until I am hoarse with exhaustion and dejected. Which is more loathsome: to possess the fear that we are powerful or the worry that we will not realize that power?
I am hopeful at the last thought—my liberation may release others from their own oppression—and that is the price worth paying. That is the source of the courage and will that courses through me even when my heart breaks, even when I may be left standing in the dark. I may not be empowered to run around switching off neon signs in everyone's metaphysical barroom—but perhaps through my experience, others can learn to cut off the source of energy to their own flashing signs and learn to illuminate the darkness from within.